The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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