a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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