You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
