I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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