if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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