I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wear drunk well.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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