And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
