Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
