why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
