Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize