took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
two words...techno handjob
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
