threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
