He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
