I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
