Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Floor bacon is actually really good
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
