those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
