my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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