OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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