So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
