Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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