Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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