whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
