i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
