i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hippo gnu deer
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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