It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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