I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
did i just pee glitter
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
