im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
