Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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