I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
