Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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