thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
