Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize