I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
