You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize