At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
