We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
