she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
