That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
