why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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