New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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