I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
