I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
