walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
