i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
