Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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