Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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