apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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