Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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