Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
