before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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