so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
