now i know why i became what i already was.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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