I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
