dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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