Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
