that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
