hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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